White Man Ascendant - A Stephen Miller Memoir circa 2011

         Katie and I ate dinner as we watched Jeopardy and had dessert over Wheel of Fortune. After the Triple Toss-Up, she went to the kitchen for strawberries. I’d been horny all day, and porn was blocked on my office computer. I stalked Katie. She startled when I pounced upon her as she pulled the fruit carton from the fridge. A kiss quickly calmed her start. I’m constantly amazed at how much a kiss means to her, as though we are Jesus and Judas. The odd peck I understand - to make sure we still have mouths. However every time one of us leaves for like two hours, we make out like 16-year olds when next we are alone. I have sharply bowed, full lips. Katie’s are a beak. Given that her lips are so hard and scaly, they should have the decency to be small. Not for Katie. Stork rather than finch. I imagined she had lips that matched mine when we kissed. This way, we both enjoyed it more. She got giggly; I got hard. If I could distract her before more...

 My office has a door leading to the roof of the parking tower. However, the key has been broken off in the lock. When I moved into my office, I tried to get that door open. Needle-nose pliers couldn’t grip the shaft in the tumblers. It could just be a random key fated to fill a misfit hole. The worst part is that I can’t clean the windows. Grit plasters the glass like plaque on a homeless man’s teeth. But while the view is hazy, it is still a view. In the cold, the door creaks as it adjusts. I feel crazy as I dart over my shoulder, expecting a squeegee bearer to spy my nose picking or me masturbating into a trash can. Did he see how long I spent researching alpine parrots? No one is ever there, but I always start.  In the apartment, as Katie sleeps, I listen to the darkened ceiling sing whispers. However no one walks in the upper apartment. This used to worry me. I anticipated distant voices to emerge from these mumbles. What would they say? I looked forward to when the voice...

          Katie and I had our own forays into sexual experimentation, before we dated. For my part - the smell and texture of dick irked me. Eventually, we finished by hand. Considering how drunk I was, I didn’t expect to cum at all. Also drunkenly, I told Katie this story while we were dating. She brings it up periodically, though I never say shit about her dalliances. Prior to marriage, I wanted a menage a trois. However, one of my sisters got a divorce because she learned her husband was swinging with his mistress on the side. That dampened my outspokenness on sexual exploration. Besides Katie is not the best lover. I angle her hips and coach her to provide maximum penetration. Tell her to back off with the teeth. I expected a girl as slutty as she was to know more. But I am a patient and kind lover. The third party would not be. As they left, I’d be so embarrassed, and Katie would lay all the blame on me, saying that I’d made her do this, I ha...